Don’t Look At Me That Way

26 06 2012

I laughed when Google let it slip that they were developing Google Glasses, eyewear that has full smartphone functionality. Slip on these shades, and you’ll be able to surf the internet. Tilt and snap your head, and you will have just scrolled and clicked.

And perhaps walked in front of a New York taxi driver hellbent on getting a big tip.

But apparently all this futuristic thinking has caused others to…um…think even more about it. Today came news that a German designer has conceptualized Instaglasses. Imagine the possibilities. Rather than have to d-r-a-g out your smartphone, enter a security code, tap an app and shoot the pic (hoping the subject has not moved a half mile by then), wearers could simply touch a small button on the bridge of the frame. A small camera on one corner of the frame captures the image. Click! Add filter. Post.

Ansel Adams never had it so easy.

While the coolness factor may be high, there are still some unanswered questions. Will these glasses require a data plan on my cell phone account? Or will I need to be near wifi to actually use them? Is there any memory onboard, or is this strictly a one trick pony?

And what about the general creepiness factor? I can only imagine having to fear every shade-wearing person I meet in public may in fact be posting my awesome likeness to Instagram. OK, boo and hiss all you want to. It could just as easily be your awesomeness.

By now you probably see my point. It is one thing to surreptitiously sneak your phone out of a pocket or purse, and craftily steal a picture of an unwitting subject. Isn’t this how PeopleOfWalmart.com gets its fill of pictures anyway? But if it as simple as hiding behind shades, turning in someone’s general direction, tapping the bridge of your specs, and voila! they’re on the internet, just watch out.

And you thought Instagram was popular before all this. You ain’t seen nothing yet.

I am still trying to figure out how in the world this could somehow be leveraged for business benefit (perhaps one of my enterprising students can figure out this puzzle), but until then, I suspect the creeper-stalker meter is going to be in the red zone. Can someone please start thinking a little more carefully about these new gadgets? And while you are pondering this, I need to go ask that woman over there why she keeps fidgeting with her glasses. It’,s making me nervous.

Dr “Say Cheese” Gerlich

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